I’m cycling uphill through blancmange,
It’s raining with a storm on the way.
There’s a flesh eating zombie behind me
And I’m not even sure of the day.

There’s a sea of lava towards me
And a shark with a big Toblerone.
Small pigeons are circling above me
And the battery’s run out on my phone.

My bicycle now has a puncture,
I think it’s the end of the line.
I’m going to stop for a bite to eat
And a glass of gooseberry wine.