Slow flowing blood boiling just like hot jam,
My legs are swollen and smelling of ham.
Sticky sweat coating me with salty brine,
Telling myself it’s going to be fine.
Internal organs cooking up a treat
Turning to a Full English in this heat.
I have no energy to try to speak,
My limbs are heavy and feeling so weak.
My make-up’s melting all down my face,
My lungs constrict like I’ve run a tough race.
I’m tetchy, snarly and starting to growl,
Factor fifty plastered on with a trowel.
Handfuls of ice cubes go into my bra,
The sanest idea I’ve had by far.
Hating happy people loving the sun,
I want it to rain and spoil all their fun.
With my red face looking like salami
It’s not a heatwave – it’s a heat tsunami.
I can’t stop the tears rolling down my cheeks,
My pain still raw as days turn to weeks.
Time will heal so I am told,
Yet grief clings to me like festering mould.
You were taken too sudden away from us all,
I wish I had the power of time to stall,
I would tell you how much you meant to me,
A dad not in name but a dad to me.
I’d thank you for loving and looking after my mum,
For all my memories in our family album.
I’d tell you I loved you every day,
The words in your life I never did say.
My heart feels now as weak as yours
And into infinity my sadness pours.
My mind beats fast when I think of you,
My heart dreams vivid colours so true.
A mix of emotions run through my veins,
A tribe of wild horses released from their reins.
Fear of unknown adventures ahead,
Wondering where fate this time has led.
Excitement coursing through me so fast,
A little bit cautious due to my past.
You’ve touched my soul in this short time already,
I feel euphoric, blessed, giddy and heady.
I’ll let you inside to the core of me,
If you’ll cherish my heart I’ll give you the key.
You’re stuck in my brain and I can’t set you free,
You’re having a strange effect on me.
I want to swim with you in lemon jelly,
Cuddle nude while watching the telly.
Write your name on my book in permanent ink,
Fly high through clouds of candyfloss pink.
Words tangle like spaghetti when I try to talk,
My mouth feeling like crumbling chalk.
Your smile thrown my way starts my tummy to spin,
Head all giddy like I’ve been on gin.
If I held your hand once I might just explode,
Leaving my bits all over the road.
You have no idea what you do to me,
If you felt the same I’d scream ‘yippee’!
Fresh flowers of pink and purple delight my eyes,
Soothing scent, aromatherapy for the soul.
Silent figures cluster closer saying goodbyes
Full of raw emotion but showing self-control.
Ghosts waltzing through fresh dew with an elegant grace,
Lovers, re-joined, time is no longer their keeper,
Free to celebrate joy in eternal embrace
After having fought then welcoming the reaper.
Weathered headstones submerging like abandoned ships
Tilting at harsh angles, pleading to be redeemed.
Black crows like mourners survey from up high on crypts
Judging stern over souls that were not what they seemed.
Fate and disease, war heroes’ forgotten glories.
All of humanity lies beneath, now at peace.
Study the headstones and imagine their stories,
Young and old taken too soon or blessed release.
Come to my silent place, my time stopping haven
Where thoughts unfurl from flowing stream to tranquil lake,
Here my worries and fears are laid bare and shaven
And stillness encircles me with comforting ache.
I’ll wait in my silent place serenely for you,
No need to rush as time is my gentle friend here,
I will wait until you are ready to come through
And hold you so closely to smother all your fear.