pop

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80’s Music Typos.

Published August 5, 2018 by Naomi Rettig

The typist for an 80’s radio station made a few errors when typing up the playlist, changing one letter can make quite a difference in songs.

Dancing with Pears in my Eyes – Ultravox

We Don’t Need Another Herb – Tina Turner

Wherever I Lay My Cat (That’s My Home) – Paul Young

Down Udder – Men at Work

Tonight, I Celebrate My Dove – Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack

That’s Ale – Genesis

Panic Monday – The Bangles

Dr Meat – Gloria Estefan

Can you Peel It – Jackson 5

Naneater – Hall & Oates

Deaf Ringer for Love – Meatloaf

Holding Out For a Herb – Bonnie Tyler

Never Ending Storm – Limahl

It’s Raining, Meh – The Weather Girls

Cruet Summer – Bananarama

Grass in Pocket – The Pretenders

Love is a Cattlefield – Pat Benatar

Relay – Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Danger Bone – Kenny Loggins

You Can’t Curry Love – Phil Collins

Here Comes the Pain Again – Eurythmics

Jello – Lionel Richie

Stout – Tears For Fears

Alive and Licking – Simple Minds

Cities in Lust – Siouxsie & The Banshees

The Lady in Bed – Chris De Burgh

Invisible Couch – Genesis

Holding Back the Bears – Simply Red

Trench Kissin’ in The USA – Deborah Harry

Always on my Hind – Pet Shop Boys

Gimme Dope Jo’anna – Eddy Grant

Turn Back the Glock – Johnny Hates Jazz

Pot in the City – Billy Idol

I Should Be So Yucky – Kylie Minogue

Everyday is Like a Funday – Morrissey

Peardrops – Womack & Womack

Feed You Tonight – INXS

Baby I Don’t Bare – Transvision Vamp

I Want That Map – Deborah Harry

The Pest – Tina Turner

Welcome to the Bungle – Guns n Roses

Porn in the USA – Bruce Springsteen

Honey for Nothing – Dire Straits

Mild Side – Motley Crew

When Doves Pry – Prince

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Previous Band Names

Published May 3, 2018 by Naomi Rettig

Lots of bands weren’t doing too well so they changed their names and the rest is history*.

*This may not be true.

1. Stare 281 – Blink 182
2. Warmnap – Coldplay
3. Blind Pantha – Def Leppard
4. Knives n’ Posies – Guns n’ Roses
5. Duke Magenta – King Crimson
6. The Arsonists – The Killers
7. Woodlica – Metallica
8. My Fragrance Free Friendship – My Chemical Romance
9. Uncertainty – No Doubt
10. Coral Curd – Pearl Jam
11. Kings of the Bronze Age – Queens of the Stone Age
12. Gripvelcro – Slipknot
13. Audiolawn – Soundgarden
14. Fat Betty – Thin Lizzy
15. Corduroy Pistol – Velvet Revolver
16. Uh-Oh – A-Ha
17. Brenda’s Basement – Alisha’s Attic
18. Front Avenue Lads – Backstreet Boys
19. Hit for Brows – Bat for Lashes
20. Silver Swot Bicycle Club – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
21. Brownie – Blondie
22. Skinny Malcolm – Boney M
23. Skittling for Pita Bread – Bowling for Soup
24. Empty Bungalow – Crowded House
25. The Fresh Freesias – The Dead Daisies
26. Light Lilac – Deep Purple
27. Dexy’s Midday Walkers – Dexy’s Midnight Runners
28. The Windows – The Doors
29. The Candle Band – Electric Light Orchestra
30. Gas Five – Electric Six
31. Cuddle – Embrace
32. Frankie Goes to Cleethorpes – Frankie Goes to Hollywood
33. Enemy Floods – Friendly Fires
34. Lung – Heart
35. Tootie & The Clownfish – Hootie & The Blowfish
36. Mike and The Osteopaths – Mike and The Mechanics
37. Sulky Greys – Moody Blues
38. Seven Centimeter Screws – Nine Inch Nails
39. Sleet Guard – Snow Patrol
40. Hard Nucleus – Soft Cell
41. Tin Tiger – Steel Panther
42. Moist Thumbs – Sticky Fingers
43. The Stabbers – The Stranglers
44. Pampered Pussies – Stray Cats
45. The Fashion Forum – The Style Council
46. Chit Chat – Talk Talk
47. Beers for Deers – Tears for Fears
48. Creepyview – Terrorvision
49. We Are Postmen – We Are Scientists
50. Pinkworm – Whitesnake

Eighties Original Songs

Published April 7, 2018 by Naomi Rettig

Original 80’s Song Titles before they were changed by the artists to appeal to the mass market.

1. Simply Red – If You Don’t Know Me by Now (you haven’t been paying attention to our conversations you ignorant prat).

2. Fine Young Cannibals – She Drives Me Crazy (when she talks during the football).

3. Cher – If I Could Turn Back Time (I wouldn’t have gone for the cheesecake as your tiramisu looked nicer).

4. Belinda Carlisle – Leave a Light On (as I’ve just watched ‘Halloween’ and I’ve got a loose bladder).

5. Texas – I Don’t Want a Lover (I want a man who does the ironing for me).

6. Glenn Medeiros – Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You (unless you keep cooking kippers on a Tuesday).

7. Tiffany – I Think We’re Alone Now (apart from all the voices in my head and my invisible unicorn Neville).

8. Belinda Carlisle – Heaven Is a Place on Earth (called Scunthorpe).

9. Phil Collins – Two Hearts (make you Doctor Who).

10. Cher – I Found Someone (to sort out my plumbing, so take those rubber gloves off).

11. Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up (unless I’m offered a bag of Malteasers).

12. Jackie Wilson – I Get the Sweetest Feeling (when I eat too much fudge).

13. Terence Trent D’Arby – If You Let Me Stay (I’ll put up that shelf you wanted and treat you to a bag of chips).

14. George Michael – I Want Your Sex (but a Mars bar will do if you’re tired).

15. Level 43 – Running in the Family (ended with me, I’m a walker).

16. Robert Palmer – Addicted to Love (and pizza and Haribo sweets).

17. Phyllis Nelson – Move Closer (because you smell of cottage pie and I really want to sniff you).

18. Tears for Fears – Everybody Wants to Rule the World (except me, I’m a lazy ass and just want to watch Bargain Hunt on TV).

19. Bruce Springsteen – Dancing in the Dark (because I’ve not paid the leccy again).

20. Kate Bush – Running Up That Hill (has given me shocking shin splints).

21. Paul Young – Every Time You Go Away (your best friend Laura plays Scrabble and eats pork pies with me).

22. Fine Young Cannibals – Johnny Come Home (your spaghetti hoops are starting to congeal).

23. Stevie Wonder – I Just Called to Say I Love You (and to cadge a lift home because I’ve missed the last bus).

24. Nik Kershaw – Wouldn’t It Be Good (if I was a ginger cat and lived with Mrs. Jones in number 42).

25. Cyndi Lauper – Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun (and a man that does the dusting).

26. Ultravox – Dancing with Tears In My Eyes (because I’ve stubbed my toe yet again on that ugly coffee table).

27. Chaka Khan – Ain’t Nobody (gonna to eat my last Rolo).

28. Siouxsie & The Banshees – Dear Prudence (stop eating the food on my shelf in the fridge or I will wrap your feet in cellophane while you sleep).

29. Dexy’s Midnight Runners – Come on Eileen (that table’s not going to take your weight much longer, and for Gawd’s sake put your boobs away

30. Yazoo – Only You (make me want to throw myself off a stepladder while eating a cactus).

31. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts – I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll (sausage rolls, swiss rolls, forward rolls and fat rolls).

32. Human League – Don’t You Want Me (suspended by fraying wool over a shark tank).

33. The Police – Every Little Thing She Does is Magic (apart from Yorkshire puddings, she can’t make those for jack.)

34. Odyssey – Going Back to My Roots (because peroxide prices are extortionate).

35. Abba – One of Us (is an annoying twat and it’s not me).

36. Depeche Mode – Just Can’t Get Enough (of you mum’s apple chutney).

37. The Police – Don’t Stand So Close to Me (I had a curry last night).

38. The Nolans – I’m in the Mood for Dancing (but my bunions have other ideas).

39. Blondie – Call Me (if you’re having pizza tonight, but not if you’re having anchovies on it).

40. Prince – Let’s Go Crazy (and have a dessert and the cheeseboard).

41. Duran Duran – Hungry Like the Wolf (so two pasties and a doughnut for me please).

42. Wham – Last Christmas (you didn’t buy me a chocolate orange and I can never forgive you).

43. Queen – Under Pressure (I eat lots of cake and watch the True Movie channel).

44. Whitesnake – Here I Go Again (picking up your socks from the floor, lazy git.)

45. The Cure – Pictures of You (make me want to vomit and I use them on my dart board).

46. Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar on Me (as I’m having a hypo and my insulin’s not kicking in).

47. ACDC – Back in Black (because I’ve eaten too many Easter eggs and my backside is the size of Luxemburg).

48. Starship – Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now (unless my passport doesn’t come back because I left it late as per usual).

49. U2 – Where the Streets Have No Name (I get a bit lost and have to use my sat nav).

50. Bros – I Owe You Nothing (apart from maybe that 10p I borrowed in 1984 for a Curly Wurly).

Food Songs

Published April 29, 2016 by Naomi Rettig

Songs that were originally based on food.

  1. Little Red Courgette – Prince.
  2. I Will Always Love Stew – Whitney Houston.
  3. Carrot in the Wind – Elton John.
  4. A Whiter Shade of Kale – Procol Harum.
  5. Smells Like Bean Spirit – Nirvana.
  6. Another One Bites the Crust – Queen.
  7. Korma Chameleon – Culture Club.
  8. Scran – Eminem.
  9. Like a Gherkin – Madonna.
  10. Ice Cream Believer – The Monkees.
  11. Jello -Adele.
  12. Chips Don’t Lie – Shakira.
  13. Wrecking Cawl – Miley Cyrus.
  14. Frying in the Chapel – Elvis Presley.
  15. Spice Oddity – David Bowie.
  16. You Can’t Curry Love – The Supremes.
  17. Soupsudio – Phil Collins.
  18. Living on the Veg – Aerosmith.
  19. Livin’ on a Pear – Bon Jovi.
  20. Dancing in the Quark – Bruce Springsteen.
  21. Corn in the USA – Bruce Springsteen.
  22. Where the Sweets Have No Name – U2.
  23. Champagne Peach Pavlova – Oasis.
  24. Back for Pud – Take That.
  25. Can’t Get You Outta My Bread – Kylie Minogue.
  26. Bun – Snow Patrol.
  27. You Can’t Always Get a Croissant – The Rolling Stones.
  28. Fry me a Liver – Justin Timberlake.
  29. Oops I Did Sugarcane – Britney Spears.
  30. I’m Your Flan – Wham.
  31. Here Comes Chow Mein Again – Eurythmics.
  32. Quorn in my Side – Eurythmics.
  33. Brew – Spandau Ballet.
  34. Union of the Cake – Duran Duran.
  35. Take a Chance on Brie – Abba.
  36. Chilli Bean – Michael Jackson.
  37. Mango in the Night – Fleetwood Mac.
  38. Made of Scone – The Stone Roses.
  39. Wouldn’t it be Rice – Beach Boys.
  40. The Grape Pretender – Freddie Mercury.
  41. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Zucchini – Timmy Mallett.
  42. Parsnips – Nicki Minaj.
  43. Telegram Ham – T.Rex.
  44. Marmite (Everything’s Alright) – Stevie Wonder.
  45. Wrapture – Blondie.
  46. Sweet Chive O Mine – Guns n’ Roses.
  47. Harlem Truffle – Bob and Earl.
  48. Sultanas of Swing – Dire Straits.
  49. Just Give me a Raisin – Pink.
  50. See Me, Feed Me- The Who.